Independent Domestic Abuse Service (IDAS) is the largest specialist domestic abuse service in Yorkshire.
IDAS support anyone affected by domestic abuse, providing lifesaving support including refuge accommodation, outreach services and a helpline.
For many people who are afraid of their partner and may be faced with being isolated with them for long periods of time, this is an additional risk factor.
IDAS offer some safety planning advice on their website. In addition, you could consider the following:
✅ Get a spare phone and store emergency contact numbers in it and hide it in a safe place or with a trusted person
✅ Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution for calling the Police in an emergency when you can not speak
✅ Keep your ID documents, emergency funds, bank cards and children’s birth certificates to hand
✅ Speak to your neighbours and ask them to ring the police if they hear or see anything
✅ Set up safe words or signs with friends so they know to call for help on your behalf
✅ Plan to check in with people regularly so that they can raise the alarm if they don’t hear from you
✅ Plan to escape to the garden or to a room that you can exit from easily if abusive behaviour escalates
✅ Avoid rooms where there could be weapons if the abusive behaviour escalates
Familiarise yourself with The Silent Solution system. This is a system for victims of domestic abuse who might be afraid of further danger and escalation of harm if they are overheard when calling 999 in an emergency.
When somebody calls 999, an operator will ask which emergency service is required. If you are not able to ask for help, your call will be forwarded to a police system and you will hear an automated message.
If 55 is pressed by the caller, the system will detect this. The operator will then transfer the call to the relevant police force as an emergency. Click here to find out more.
Women’s Aid is a national organisation that also provides support. The Women’s Aid website has links to Live Chat, information, support services and details of helplines can be found below and on the Women’s Aid website.
✅ The Survivors’ Forum is an online resource for survivors of domestic abuse. The Survivors’ forum can be accessed 24/7. This is a place where survivors can support each other and share their experiences.
✅ Women’s Aid Live Chat is currently available Monday to Friday 10- 12pm. This could be a safer way to access some support; particularly if an abuser might also be in the property so it would be unsafe to make a telephone call.
✅ Women’s Aid Email Service can also provide support.
✅ Detailed information about national and local support services Women’s Aid offer can be found here on their website.
✅ For details of helplines, go to Gov.uk/report-domestic-abuse
✅ Women’s Aid always want to encourage a survivor to be as safe as possible when accessing any form of support. It will be really important to familiarise yourself with information and guidance that will help to keep you as safe as possible when using online platforms.
✅ Looking after children can be particularly difficult challenging when isolating. Family lives have support available including online forums
IDAS provides the following advice for friends, neighbours or family members concerned about someone they know:
More help and information can be found on the IDAS website, or you can call them on 03000 110 110 or use the Live Chat service 3pm-6pm Monday to Friday.
Right now we are recruiting foster carers across the county – in particular those who can offer homes to older children and sibling groups
During this difficult time we are still dealing with enquiries and processing applications, though we can’t see you face to face at the moment, and all our regular events and drop ins are on hold due to Covid-19 precautions.
So, wherever possible we will carry out your initial visit by phone and skype – one of our enquiry workers can talk you through the process, so please do get in touch.
To find out more go to www.northyorks.gov.uk/fostering – or contact us using facebook messenger – and together we can make a difference!
We know this lockdown has been so tough for many children and parents, but you’ve made it…..well done! Homeschooling has been challenging for many, but we’re also aware that even some of those children who have been in school have struggled, their environment has been changed and many of their friends missing. Whatever your circumstances have been for the last few months, Mumbler want to help acknowledge the success for everyone. Why not print off a celebratory certificate and present to your Mini Mumbler this weekend?
Want it all typed?
No problem, we’ll do it for you. Simply comment on our post with the names of the children you’d like it creating for, as well as who you’d like us to sign it from, and we’ll send it back to you with a special note for your Mini Mumbler. Alternatively, you can email us your details to stag@mumbler.co.uk
Well done parents and carers!
Don’t think we’d forgotten you in all this! For all those days where you’ve been exhausted, that you’ve had to work harder than ever before, where you’ve questioned your parenting abilities or wondered why on earth you can’t do basic maths!! We’ve all been there with you and let this be an enormous well done to you too!
The NSPCC Pregnancy in Mind service is for pregnant women who are experiencing anxiety and/or depression. We know that pregnancy can be an anxious time for many women and that the current circumstances are likely to be causing additional stress and uncertainty.
We usually run a group work programme but as we are currently unable to offer this we are offering a remote one-to-one service.
The service will offer approximately 4 x weekly sessions. The focus is around reducing anxiety/improving mood and providing techniques and strategies to manage this. Once you’ve contacted us a worker will be allocated and they will be in touch to have a chat with you about your needs so they can make sure the sessions offer you the support you need.
Contact will be by phone initially but then if you prefer we can use alternative media to support video contact.
Please get in touch to find out how we can offer you support.
If a worker isn’t immediately available then someone
will get back in touch as soon as possible.
Please leave your name, contact number and email address.
01904 232800
YSCAdminTeam@york.nspcc.org.uk
If, like us, you need to order your Mini Mumblers some new shoes, but have nowhere to get them measured, are unable to visit shops or would prefer not to , Start Rite are here to help.
Simply Download and print their Paper Measuring Gauge and once you know the size, you can order shoes online.
Don’t worry if you don’t have a printer, they have kindly offered to post you one. Simply fill in their request form here
To view all their super shoes, click here to visit their website.
Here at STAG HQ, this has to be our all-time favourite book. We read it to the Mini Mumbler’s (who absolutely adore it), we use it to explain life lessons to them and have also bought it for every friend who has had a baby, as it’s the perfect gift. Whilst we love the book, we didn’t really know anything about the author until recently. This super clip helps explain the long journey Charlie went on to become a successful author and illustrator and the incredible impact his book has had on so many.
Spend 5 minutes and WATCH HIS STORY
How do you explain what’s going on in the world right now, without causing fear, confusion and anxiety?
The general advice is that you definitely SHOULD talk to them about what’s going on. It’s in the news, parents are talking about it, their routine has changed and everyone is now staying at home. Why? They will be wondering what it all means and they might be worried for themselves and loved ones.
We’ve put together some useful resources that might help you answer some of the ‘why’ questions in a child friendly way.
The British Psychological Society have produced a guide on the importance of talking to children about Coronavirus and what it best to say.
Child Therapist Sophie Marsh has written a lovely short story called ‘The Stay Home Superheroes’. You can download a PDF version here; Stay Home Superheroes We read it it to our preschooler last night and he loved it. It helped him to make sense of why we need to stay at home.
We are currently experiencing one of the greatest global challenges of our time.
The truth is, we don’t know what’s going to happen and that’s scary.
A little bit of neuroscience might help us understand why this situation feels so difficult.
Human brains are wired to focus on the bad; it’s called the negativity bias. Most of the time this is helpful but in situations like this, it can lead to feelings of overwhelm, fear and panic – just as we’ve seen over the past couple of weeks.
Normally our brains counter these feelings by rationalising and imposing control on our environment so, in essence, the anxious feeling encourages us to take steps to keep ourselves safe. (For example, if you feel anxious about driving somewhere new, planning your route, checking the parking and allowing extra time might help you to feel better).
For many of us, the current situation feels so overwhelming that our poor panicked brains are left scrambling for what to do.
And if we’re panicking then how are our children going to feel?
One of the most important things we can do for our children is be a container for their anxiety. That means being able to hear their worries, hold space for them and help them to move on.
Here are three simple steps to help you do just that.
1) Manage your own anxious feelings first.
Take a breath.
Remind yourself of the facts – for most people this illness will not be deadly or severe, especially for children which is reassuring for us as parents.
Step away from the social media posts of empty shelves and cancelled events and focus on your personal situation. Obsessing about things you can’t control simply makes you feel more unhappy and has no impact on the situation.
Control what you can – if you are taking all the steps possible to keep your family and other people safe then you are doing exactly what is needed.
If you notice yourself spiralling into negative thoughts, breathe and remind yourself that it is more useful to be present with your child now than it is to ruminate on any given number of unknown future worries.
2) Be honest but reassuring
Dr Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, recommends checking in with what your child already understands about the situation before communicating the following points.
Help them to understand what’s going to be happening including any changes like parents working from home or schools closing.
Explain what that will look like for them. Some children might like to see a routine written up and put on the wall; others might be happier to go with the flow.
Do what suits you and your child.
Don’t let them watch the news. It’s stressful enough for adults.
Remember that even though they may appear not to be listening to the TV or to your conversations, they’ll be taking in more than you realise.
3) Give them a sense of control.
Some children will accept what you tell them and carry on business as usual, while others may seem more anxious and have more questions.
Validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel scared or sad.
If they keep asking the same questions, it’s okay to simply say that you’ve answered as best as you can and remind them of what they can do.
Our job is to stay home, stay safe and wash our hands. That’s it.
There are loads of great online resources for activities to do at home and it might help your child to feel more positive if you have a look through some of these and perhaps make a list of some of the ones they like best.
This is also an opportunity to try new things like becoming pen-pals with friends or arranging Lego competitions over facetime.
We don’t know how long this will last for, but we can hope and trust that we’ll all be back to normality in the not too distant future. This is a difficult time for all of us but it’s also an amazing opportunity to look at how we can face huge challenges together and build resilience at the same time. Not to mention the countless opportunities for connecting with our children, both in helping them deal with their feelings and in spending quality time together.
It won’t be easy, but we can make this a time that our children remember for years to come – for all the right reasons.
If you’re looking for more support we have a private facebook group that we’ll be using to help families manage their children’s emotional wellbeing over the coming weeks and we’d love to see you in there.
Claire and Nneka – Mellownest
Guest Blog from Sally – Harrogate Mumbler.There’s nothing harder than looking after kids when you’re tired or poorly. Much as we love them, they’re not the most sympathetic of creatures and will still want to bounce off the walls – and expect you to join in too!
The Duracell Bunny’s got nothing on my kids, but I’ve learned a few tricks along the way to buy peace and quiet when I’m desperate. Here are our favourite things to do with little ones when you’re shattered, poorly, or just need a bit of time to yourself.
Build a cushion fort: Pull the cushions off the sofa and let the kids get busy! They will enjoy bouncing around on it all and it only takes a few minutes to put away later.
Have a dance party: Sit back, play some music on your phone and let them bust the moves. You could also blow bubbles, or break out some glow sticks.
Soft furnishings obstacle course: This is great if they’ve got energy to burn! Tell them to make tunnels with cushions and other obstacles to climb and crawl across. They could pretend the floor is crocodile infested water and leap from cushion to cushion to escape!
Start a cupboard of cheap toys: My mother-in-law is a master of stashing away cheap toys and crafts for emergencies or rainy days. She often has a few of each, so no squabbling about who gets what. It works a treat and I have started my own with sticker books, fancy pens and colouring stuff, playdoh and joke toys. A Whoopie Cushion was a big hit recently!
Set a design challenge: Can they build a boat using only paper? Or an airplane from matchsticks? A tower from straws? Add glue, sticky tape and scissors, then sit back and enjoy the creativity.
Let them put on a show: An old cardboard box makes a great theatre, but kids are inventive and will figure something out. They could enjoy acting, use puppets (or make their own!), or their hands to make shadow animals.
Have a bath with regular toys: Baths are always a brilliant distraction for my kids, especially if they choose toys that aren’t usually allowed in there. Obviously, don’t use anything electrical, and only things that are okay to get wet.
Do Yoga: Cosmic Kids is a great yoga channel on You Tube, with lots of themed yoga sessions especially for kids. Some of our favourites are Frozen, Moana and Harry Potter. Even the three-year-old gets stuck in!
Play with a flashlight: Close the curtains, turn out the lights and hand out torches. They can make patterns on the wall, shadow animals with their hands, or go on an indoor scavenger hunt.
Build a tent under the table: An old blanket draped over the dining table makes a cool tent for the kids to hang out in. They can take in cushions and pillows to make it extra comfy, as well as a torch, snacks and water bottles, toys, colouring and anything else to keep them busy, all while you relax.
