Firstly, we’ll start by saying there is no perfect parent. We’ve all been there, we’ve looked at the Facebook posts of other parents, we’ve seen what we view as the perfect life and perhaps wanted it for ourselves. We see other parents walking down the street looking perfectly groomed, beautifully dressed children and wonder what we’re doing wrong with our unbrushed hair and yesterday’s mascara. If being in this parenting game for 9 years now has taught us anything, it’s that everyone is fighting their own battles. Did you know that often those who appear the most confident, are actually the ones who are fighting the most insecurities!
What we just wanted to say is that we are all in this together. Being a parent or carer has to the be hardest job in the world and that job is never done, no matter how old they get. We will have those joyous days that are great, where we smile and laugh a lot, we make precious memories and feel on top of the world, but there will also be those really challenging days when you question whether you’re a good parent, whether you’re getting it right, dealing with parent guilt…again! Those days where you look in the mirror and don’t recognise who you’ve become, those days when you wish you could hide away from it all…..and that is all completely normally.
So we challenge you this week –
1. Say hello: To someone you have never spoken to, or perhaps very little. Talk to that parent in the playground who often stands alone and doesn’t say much. It’s probably not because they’re rude or don’t want to talk, it’s probably because they’re really shy.
2. Ask someone: Out to coffee, whether that be a friend you haven’t seen in ages, or perhaps just another parent. If you struggle with small talk, organise a play date where the children join you too. Sometimes the parents of our children’s friends can end up being our closest friends. Open up – if you’re struggling or have tough things on your mind, talk to that friend or other parent, chances are they’ve experienced similar, even just having someone to listen can be a huge weight lifted.
3. Contact us: If ever you want to ask a question, go for it on the Chat Group, that’s what it’s there for. Not only does it help you to get something off your chest and hopefully receive support from others, it gives a voice to those other parents who are sat there reading, perhaps dying to ask the same question. Remember, you can also post anonymously if you prefer.
4. Tell us: Have you had a really challenging parenting experience, perhaps low self esteem/confidence, perhaps a child with challenging behaviour, perhaps you have a disability or illness that makes parenting life even more challenging, then why not share this with us. You can tell us about your experience and we’ll share it anonymously with others on our chat group.
5. Do something for you: In our busy lives, it can be so hard to find a moment to focus on you, to do the things you perhaps
enjoyed doing pre-children. Sure, you’re now mum, dad, perhaps only referred to as ‘x’s mum’ at the school gates etc, but you’re still you and don’t forget that. So think of everything that makes YOU smile. Take a bath, read a book, lay on the bed and listen to your favourite music, do a fitness class, make something crafty. Many of us say we don’t have time for this kind of thing, but even if it was just 20 minutes, it could make a huge difference. We can often be guilty of somehow being able to make time for Facebook, Insta etc, why not swap one evening where you’d normally be on social media, for one of the above treats?
Finally, give yourself a huge pat on the back. You’re doing an amazing job.
Keep being fabulous lovely mumblers xx
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