Parents Selby, Tadcaster and Goole

Support Groups and Organisations


In order to help survivors of domestic abuse, we are sharing this important information from IDAS and Women’s Aid.

How to reach out for help

Independent Domestic Abuse Service (IDAS) is the largest specialist domestic abuse service in Yorkshire. They are working quickly to adapt to the rapidly changing circumstances.

IDAS support anyone affected by domestic abuse, providing lifesaving support including refuge accommodation, outreach services and a helpline. IDAS are determined to keep their refuges and helplines running in these immensely difficult times,

For many people who are afraid of their partner and may be faced with being isolated with them for long periods of time, this is an additional risk factor.

If you are facing isolation with an abusive person, IDAS offer some safety planning advice on their website. In addition, you could consider the following:

✅ Get a spare phone and store emergency contact numbers in it and hide it in a safe place or with a trusted person

✅ Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution for calling the Police in an emergency when you can not speak

✅ Keep your ID documents, emergency funds, bank cards and children’s birth certificates to hand

✅ Speak to your neighbours and ask them to ring the police if they hear or see anything

✅ Set up safe words or signs with friends so they know to call for help on your behalf

✅ Plan to check in with people regularly so that they can raise the alarm if they don’t hear from you

✅ Plan to escape to the garden or to a room that you can exit from easily if abusive behaviour escalates

✅ Avoid rooms where there could be weapons if the abusive behaviour escalates


The Silent Solution system

Familiarise yourself with The Silent Solution system. This is a system for victims of domestic abuse who might be afraid of further danger and escalation of harm if they are overheard when calling 999 in an emergency.

When somebody calls 999, an operator will ask which emergency service is required. If you are not able to ask for help, your call will be forwarded to a police system and you will hear an automated message.

If 55 is pressed by the caller, the system will detect this. The operator will then transfer the call to the relevant police force as an emergency. Click here to find out more.


Women’s Aid is continuing to provide the following services

Women’s Aid is a national organisation that also provides support. The Women’s Aid website has links to Live Chat, information, support services and details of helplines can be found below and on the Women’s Aid website.

The Survivors’ Forum is an online resource for survivors of domestic abuse. The Survivors’ forum can be accessed 24/7. This is a place where survivors can support each other and share their experiences.

Women’s Aid Live Chat is currently available Monday to Friday 10- 12pm. This could be a safer way to access some support; particularly if an abuser might also be in the property so it would be unsafe to make a telephone call.

Women’s Aid Email Service is still operating and can also provide support.

✅ Detailed information about national and local support services Women’s Aid offer can be found here on their website.

✅ For details of helplines, go to Gov.uk/report-domestic-abuse

✅ Women’s Aid always want to encourage a survivor to be as safe as possible when accessing any form of support. It will be really important to familiarise yourself with information and guidance that will help to keep you as safe as possible when using online platforms.

✅ Looking after children can be particularly difficult challenging when isolating. Family lives have support available including online forums

✅ If you were accessing counselling that has now been suspended; some counselling services can continue to provide helpline support. For example, Supportline provides a confidential telephone helpline and email counselling service. Particularly to those at risk of abuse or are isolated.


Are you worried about a friend, family member or neighbour?

IDAS provides the following advice for friends, neighbours or family members concerned about someone they know:

  • Check-in with them regularly, if it is safe to do so
  • Ask if there is anything that you can look out for that might indicate they need help
  • Set up a safe word to indicate that help is needed
  • Call the Police if you hear or see anything that could indicate a potential risk
  • Look at the safety planning advice on the IDAS website

Access more information

More help and information can be found on the IDAS website, or you can call them on 03000 110 110 or use the Live Chat service 3pm-6pm Monday to Friday.

East Riding of Yorkshire Council is offering advice and support to parents who may feel their child is affected by bullying.

Bullying can have a negative impact on a young person’s work, health, self esteem and confidence. It can take many forms including physical, emotional and even text and internet bullying. Often parents and family members are the first to spot signs that their child is being bullied.

Bullying is usually defined as repeated behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically, and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability.

What should parents look out for?

The type of behaviour that might be an indication of bullying includes:

– A reluctance to go to school

– Unexplained tummy upsets or headaches

– Showing signs of distress on a Sunday night or at the end of school holidays

– Becoming either quiet or withdrawn, or playing up

– Torn clothes and missing belongings

– Seeming upset after using their phone, tablets, computers etc.

– Wanting to leave for school much earlier than necessary or returning home late.

Bullying can have an impact on a child’s mental health so if your child is showing signs of serious distress – such as depression, anxiety and self harm always see a GP.

What can parents do to help?

Listen, be calm and provide reassurance that the situation can get better when action is taken.

– Listen and reassure your child that coming to you was the right thing to do

– Assure them that the bullying is not their fault and that they have family that will support them

– Don’t encourage retaliation to bullying – such as violent actions. Rather suggest they walk away and seek help

– Find out what your child wants to happen next. Help to identify the choices available to them

– Encourage your child to get involved in activities that build their confidence and esteem

– Discuss the situation with your child’s teacher or head teacher – or the lead adult wherever the bullying is taking place.

Bear in mind many children do not tell their parents because they are frightened that they will approach the school about the matter, make a fuss and make things worse, so it is a good idea to ask your child what they think could be done to stop the bullying.

Every child has the right to a safe environment in which to learn and play.

Lindsay Shelbourn, public health lead for mental health and suicide prevention, said: “Bullying can have devastating effects which can last into adulthood. Children who are bullied are at greater risk of developing mental health problems and in some cases it can lead to self-harm.

“As a parent or carer you may have concerns your child is being bullied. The most important thing you can do is to listen and provide reassurance. Take a look at the Anti-Bullying Alliance interactive anti-bullying tool for information on bullying.”

Bullying can happen anywhere; at school, travelling to and from school, in sporting teams, between neighbours or in the workplace. It’s not acceptable and if you feel affected by bullying you can visit www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk

*Special thanks to East Riding Council for this content*

For general information visit www.eastriding.gov.uk

 

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Are you an empty nester?

If you’re an empty nester – could it be your time to foster

What is APD? 

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) is an incurable, lifelong condition that affects the way that the brain processes sound including speech. APD is thought to be caused by damage to the brain and it is therefore a medical (neurological) condition, therefore not one that can be diagnosed by education professionals. APD does not affect the hearing mechanism (ears etc) and it can also exist in people with perfect hearing as well as co-existing in those with additional hearing loss. In someone with normal hearing, speech is heard effectively. However, the brain plays a vital role in the hearing process. Without it, what we hear is just unintelligible noise – it has to be processed effectively by the brain in order to make sense. To put it simply, for someone with APD, speech does not always make sense (but it has a variety of other effects too) . Yet many organisations that support people with hearing difficulties (and some audiologists and other professionals) still don’t recognise or support APD, even though it greatly affects the final stage of the hearing process.  Whether a child or adult is born with it or acquires it, APD is not their fault and they are not alone. 

Recent international research has indicated that APDis thought to be present in 5% to 7% of children (some sources say up to 10% or 1 in 10) and in over 20% of adults. The amount increases steeply in children who have learning disabilities, with up to 40% of those children also having Auditory Processing deficits. By comparison, according to the WHO in 2019, Autism/ASD is thought to affect only 1 in 160 children worldwide (with an estimated 1.1% in the UK). 

Important points to remember: 

·        APD can affect up to 10% of children and 20% of adults 

·        APD has a unique presentation in everyone 

·        APD affects all aspects of life and communication 

·        APD is a cause of dyslexia 

·        APD is a lifelong disability 

·        The need for frequent sensory breaks 

·        APD is a recognised medical condition 

·        APD does not affect intellect 

·        Someone with APD is not “stupid”, “lazy” or “broken” 

·        Self-esteem and confidence are often affected 

·        APD is exhausting and can lead to anxiety and depression 

·        With the right support, people with APD can and will succeed 

·        There is a need for wider support and recognition. 

© Alyson Mountjoy, Chair APD Support UK 

 

What are the indications that a child might have APD?

Here are some of them, but only full testing can tell you for certain. They don’t need to have them all.  

a. A child with APD might appear not to hear when you speak to them, especially if it is noisy, unless you get their attention first. APD is not an attentional problem, they just need to know you are speaking to them or lipread.  

b. They might be suspected of having hearing loss, only to have perfect hearing (although APD can exist in people with hearing loss).  

c. Even in a quiet room, they might not understand what you say or ask them to do.  

d. They might have difficulty with more than one instruction or carry out a list of instructions in the wrong order.  

e. They might have problems with knowing who to listen to in a group of people: the direction of the speaker.  

f. They might muddle up similar sounds or words.  

g. There might be misunderstanding, miscommunication, tears and frustration because they don’t understand or can’t express themselves due to word retrieval issues.  

h. They might have a problem with using the phone, understanding fast speech or people with unfamiliar accents.  

i. Sometimes they might hear the start, middle or end of a sentence, all of it or none of it. On other occasions it might be different.  

j. The effects are random and intermittent, worse when tired, ill or stressed. There will be good days and bad days.  It will be more obvious once they go to school or in a group of people. They might struggle to understand what is going on in the classroom, work slowly, seek reassurance from teachers and peers that what they are doing is correct, or they might not know that they have misunderstood and constantly get things wrong.  

k.They might struggle to make and keep friends due to miscommunication or poor social skills. It is not their fault. 

Should we go to our GP to refer? 

GPs can refer for NHS testing, but also certain other professionals such as paediatricians, educational psychologists and speech and language therapists. Different testing centres have their own process, criteria and exclusions. For full referral, testing centres, criteria and testing details, please see https://apdsupportuk.yolasite.com/apd-and-ukdiagnosis.php 

At what age can APD be tested in children? 

 The age of testing can vary between testing centres, but it is usually from the age of 8 on the NHS or 6/7 privately. Check with your chosen centre that your child meets their age and other criteria. 

© Alyson Mountjoy, Chair APD Support UK 

How can Kip McGrath help your child if you suspect APD or have a learning difficulty 

We offer incentre or online sessions so can ensure a quiet, calm environment. Your child will be assessed and their lessons planned to build upon their strengths, this builds confidence. 

Our tutors are patient, give lots of reassurance and encouragement always working to increase knowledge. We use headphones for many computer activities which reduces distractions. We have time to repeat and explain as many times as is necessary. 

We can allow breaks in the learning if your child becomes overwhelmed. As well as working on the computer we use resources in centre such as Lego, whiteboards, number lines, and can give 1 to 1 support. All tutors are qualified teachers with a wealth of experience in dyslexia, ADHD, Autism, dyscalculia, hyperacusis, and sensory processing disorder.  

We support parents/carers who home school and work with SENCO’s in schools offering tailored programmes which are funded by the LEA.  

Schools can assess processing speed and along with any formal diagnosis should offer 25% extra time in formal tests/exams. 

Find out more 

Here at STAG Mumbler, we are always keen to hear your recommendations of great weekly classes and groups. If you have any suggestions, simply drop us an email telling us all about it at stag@mumbler.co.uk

Fostering North YorkshireFostering North Yorkshire needs you!

We want to hear from people who could make a difference to the lives of children and young people across the county.

Fostering North Yorkshire is your local fostering service, and we’ve been supporting families across the county for over 35 years. We’re part of North Yorkshire County Council and our foster carers look after over 300 children a year. The foster carers come from a wide range of backgrounds and family make-up, but what they all have in common is their desire to provide a secure and welcoming home for some of the county’s most vulnerable children.

In return we offer the best training available and competitive financial packages with generous tax free allowances for each child or young person you foster. And we’re there whenever you need us, 24/7, 365 days a year.

Contact us at Fostering North Yorkshire

Email:fostering@northyorks.gov.uk

Web:www.northyorks.gov.uk/fostering

Facebook: facebook.com/FosteringNorthYorkshire/

Phone: 01609 534654

Tanya and Dave’s fostering story

Tanya and Dave have been fostering now for just over 2 years. They do not have any children of their own, though Tanya enjoyed much involvement with her niece over the years and also had experience from her work in childcare.

Tanya had always wanted to foster, feeling there were children ‘out there’ in need of a safe and loving home. The time had to be right, though, to fit around work commitments and to make sure that both her and Dave had the space in their lives, as well as in their home, to foster.

The fostering journey begins…

Tanya explains:

‘We wanted to do respite fostering for our first year, to learn more about how things work, before taking on either short or long term placements. We had two boys for whom we provided respite care – and still do – this was a really good way to start our fostering career. Prior to the first placement, we had met the boys, so this helped things along, too.

Our next placement – planned to be long term – was introduced slowly – this was partly because of covid restrictions but also because neither the short term foster carers nor ourselves were in a rush. This again helped the settling in process greatly and we were all very fortunate to be in this position. Ethan was 12 when he came to us, having been with this foster family for almost two years. When he asked them why they hadn’t found a new home for him, they told him ‘we will only let you go to someone who loves you as much as we do!’

He still maintains contact with them and visits for tea once a week – and occasionally stays over, too, which is great for all concerned .’

Fast forward to the present…

It is hoped that Ethan will now live with Tanya and Dave on a permanent basis, though this is yet to be officially confirmed. He shared with Tanya and Dave that he’d felt as though his life had been on ‘pause’ previously, but that now, ‘play’ has been pressed.

For Tanya and Dave this is heart warming news and for them this means ‘the last piece of Ethan’s life jigsaw is now in place’

 

If you have space in your home and in your life to foster please get in touch www.northyorks.gov.uk/fostering

We’d love to hear from you!

*Sponsored Blog

Fostering North Yorkshire – Making a difference that lasts a lifetime 

                                                   

 

Crombie Wilkinson logoMaking the decision to end your relationship and leave your partner can feel like a sense of relief for some but for many it also leaves you with a lot of questions about what you do next about separation, divorce, access to your children, what happens to any joint property and assets. 

When you have made the decision to end your marriage or civil partnership, this may have come as a shock to your partner and they may not be ready to discuss practicalities. It can be best for you to give them some space and time before you start to ask questions and expect them to have the answers. Communication is a key aspect of sorting out arrangements when you separate and so keeping open communication with your now ex partner can be a positive thing to do as once communication breaks down it can be hard to see and make decision rationally as both sides can then get entrenched in their side only. 

Some people can deal with separating ok, for others it will be an emotional roller coaster, where one day they can seem to be alright and coping with the decision but the next day they can be upset and not want to deal with things.  

If there are children involved, you both need to come to the agreement that your separation should not come between the children seeing both their parents during the transition, especially if one of you has moved out of the family home and want the children to visit you where you are then staying. Try to not argue or say negative comments about the other parent in front of the children, remember, they have not asked for this and have to deal with it and work through it just the same as the adults have to. You need to keep their routine the same as best you can to keep things stable for them, especially if they are school age and have hobbies/activities.  

When you are both ready, or if you as the person who has chosen to leave is ready to take the next step to progress formal separation, Family Mediation is a process you can enter in to where you can discuss matters and family disputes with the support of another person, a mediator to assist you in talking about your family and what’s best for them. The mediation process involves you attending a meeting or series of meetings with your former partner over several weeks. At each meeting, the family mediator will help you discuss whatever issues are at hand and take steps to defuse any conflict so you can come to conclusions and agreements together to benefit your family circumstances. You can discuss family mediation with our family mediator, Chris Myles at our York office. 

Once you have made the decision to divorce, it is advisable to speak to a divorce solicitor to get the advice you need for your personal circumstances. You may do this after you have spoken to your ex partner and both agreed that a divorce is the route you want to go down, alternatively, you may decide yourself it is what you want for you and issue divorce proceedings on your ex partner without informing them. There is a lot to consider when you are divorcing and getting the right advice, early in your decision is important for both sides and for the bigger picture of the wider family possibly affected by the separation. 

Anyone who has been married for over one year can start divorce proceedings, providing that one or other of the couple is either domiciled in England and Wales when the divorce proceedings have begun or has been resident in England and Wales throughout the period of one year ending with that date. It is irrelevant where the couple were married. 

We recommend reading our guide to the divorce process.   

For advice about your separation or divorce, contact Mark Robinson, divorce solicitor in Selby at Crombie Wilkinson Solicitors on 01757 708957. 

Eight fostering teams from local authorities across Yorkshire are working together to help to give young people in need of foster care a stable start in life.

PPP aims to support parents who have children with additional needs.
We provide a voice for parents and are keen to ensure services are developed across Selby district to meet the needs of families in the area.
PPP has a steering group made up of parents and is supported by Selby
District AVS, Bee Able, Ryedale Special Families, North Yorkshire County
Council and Beech Tree Surgery.

We hold a weekly parent’s coffee morning every Friday from 10.30am – 12.30pm at Brayton Community Centre. This provides an opportunity to meet other parents, members of the PPP steering group and a range of different professionals. During school holidays, there is a free creche facility where children can take part in various fun activities, this is facilitated by Bee-Able staff.

WEBSITE 

Peter Pan Nursery is a registered charity, pre-school nursery for children and families with additional needs based in Sherburn in Elmet.  We offer places to children who have disabilities, illness, behavioural issues, speech and language delays, social anxieties etc.  We also take children whose families require additional support and respite care due to illness, disability or mental health.  The list is not exhaustive and any additional need would be considered.  We have a team of highly qualified staff who are supported by a team of passionate, experienced volunteers, allowing us to offer amazing care.  We believe that every child should be given the same opportunities to achieve their full potential, no matter what their starting point or ability.  We offer a safe, stimulating environment with up to date equipment and fully inclusive outdoor play area.  Places are available for funded children and for non-funded at a cost of £15 per session.

For further information, please call kay or Emma on 01977 681863 or email office@peterpannursery.co.uk

We also have a charity shop on Finkle Hill in Sherburn in Elmet, all children’s clothing is 50p per item.  We also sell shoes, accessories, toys, books, electricals, bric-a-brac, kitchenware and equestrian items.  We have a Facebook group ‘Peter Pan Nursery (Selby District) & Charity Shop’ and a Facebook page for our charity shop ‘PeterPan Charity Shop’.

Featured Listing

SANDS

Sands is the stillbirth and neonatal death charity. Founded in 1978, Sands exists to reduce the number of babies dying and to ensure that anyone affected by the death of a baby receives the best possible care and support for as long as they need it wherever they are in the UK.

Sands works to reduce the number of babies dying and to better understand the causes of baby deaths. Sands works with governments and other organisations to drive change and raise awareness of the issues relating to baby loss.

Sands provides bereavement support services at both a local and national level. These include the Sands Freephone helpline, mobile app, online community, family support packs, memory boxes and over 100 regional support groups run by trained befrienders.

Sands works to improve bereavement care available to parents and families, by offering a range of training programmes and resources and working in partnership with health care professionals, trusts and health boards.

https://www.sands.org.uk/support-you

Featured Listing

Selby Hands of Hope

A local charity, by local people, for local people….

As a trusted charitable organization founded in 2009 by Wendy Singh, Selby Hands of Hope provide assistance to the people who need it the most in Selby and the district. If you need support, want to know more about the services available in the district or would just like to get involved and help your community please get in contact.

5 Gowthorpe, Selby YO8 4HE, UK

T: 01757 705855
E: admin@selbyhandsofhope.org.uk

 

Selby North Children and Family Hub is on the site of Selby Community Primary School, Flaxley Road, Selby. The hub is within walking distance of the town centre.

Parking at the hub is for staff only. There is on-street parking in local streets around the hub. The building is easily accessible to all, and is on one level with accessible toilets and baby change facilities available.

Selby North Children and Family Hub, Flaxley Road, Selby, North Yorkshire, YO8 4DL

Find out more

T: 01609 532343
E: C&FHubSelby@northyorks.gov.uk

Selby South Children and Family Hub is situated in the grounds of Barwic Parade School, Barwic Parade, Selby. On-street parking is available close by.

The hub is on one level and accessible toilets and baby change facilities are available.

Selby South Children and Family Hub, Barwic Parade, Selby, North Yorkshire, YO8 8DJ

Find out more

T: 01609 532343
E: C&FHubSelby@northyorks.gov.uk

Sherburn Children and Family Hub is a satellite site and is attached to the Sherburn library which is situated behind a parade of shops on Finkle Hill.

There is no parking available at the hub but there are parking spaces in the village. There is also short stay car parking in the Co-Op store for a maximum of two hours. Please ensure you take care in coming to and from both centres. Be aware of cars passing quickly and a build-up of incoming and outgoing traffic during school drop off and pick up times.

c/o Sherburn Library, Finkle Hill, Sherburn-in-Elmet, LS25 6EA

Find out more

T: 01609 532343
E: C&FHubSelby@northyorks.gov.uk

Spirit Of Christmas logo
Spirit of Christmas is a registered charity that runs 3 projects to help promote families and communities and alleviate poverty. Projects are Christmas parties; Christmas shop (toy bank) and Banana Box Toy Project.
Registered charity number: 1185011
WEBSITE

  • Our drop off points make it really easy to donate complete, good quality toys, games, puzzles, books and stationery items
  • We do want donations suitable from age 0+, however we give toys out to children up to age 11 (although on occasion we do get some older!).
  • We will find loving new homes for most of these through our 3 projects
  • Why not become a drop off point for our charity
If there is no drop off point near you then please message us

DROP OFF POINTS

Families in need

Whether you’re a family who would benefit from our donations (particularly younger families with newborn to 4 years old), or you’re supporting a family who would, please contact us directly.

Spirit Of Christmas poster offering free toys

Find out more about the changes, and the wide range of community focussed services, support and events available here 

The Manor Farm site is fully accessible with services being located at ground level. Parking is available to the rear of the building. All centres are easily accessible for all users. All the centres are on one level and accessible toilets and baby change facilities are available.

Manor Farm Estate, St Joseph’s Street, Tadcaster, LS24 9HA
T: 01937 830524

Featured Listing

The Toy Box Project

The Toy Box Project is a Selby based voluntary charity founded by Jacqui Crossley and Mandie Longfield in 2020.  
They collect pre-loved toys and games  through donations to re-gift to families in need.
They make up age related bespoke hampers depending on the families requirements and will deliver to their homes if they are  unable to collect. They will deliver across most parts of Yorkshire.
They also collect donations for those that can’t get to one of their drop off points in Selby.
The charity  operates throughout the year so please make contact via our Facebook page or use the details below if you or anyone you know would like a free toy box.
T : Jacqui Crossley on 07542 769342

 

Featured Listing

Unique Friends

Unique Friends are a not for profit organisation that provide activities, support, and information to children and young adults with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities aged 0-25 and their families. We are based in Goole and welcome families who are local and from the surrounding areas of Yorkshire.

WEBSITE

FACEBOOK

Allergy UK

WEBSITE

Family Fund

‘Helping families raising disabled or seriously ill children across the UK.
We can help families raising disabled or seriously ill children and young people from birth to 17 years old. Young people who are 16 or 17 can apply fora grant themselves. We accept one application per household, every 12 months subject to eligibility and funding. Our website gives details on our eligibility criteria, how to apply and you can download an application form direct.

T: 01904 550055
www.familyfund.org.uk

Family Information Service (FIS)

‘The FIS is here to support YOU! We provide comprehensive, up to date information and advice on all services for children, young people and families in North Yorkshire. This could include information about childcare and childcare costs or support for your family. Our service is available for parents and carers of children 0-19 and for young people with additional needs up to the age of 25.

We can help you with –

  • Finding and paying for childcare
  • Parenting and family support
  • Money advice
  • Getting into work or training
  • Fun things to do
  • Working in Early Education and childcare
  • Health
  • Children Centres
  • Disabled children and young people
  • Support for families in distress

T: 01609 533 483
E: fis.information@northyorks.gov.uk

WEBSITE

Gluten Free Alchemist

Coeliac Parenting – Managing Child Care & Education
Child Care and Education : Managing Your Coeliac Child’s Dietary and Health Needs

WEBSITE

Home-Start Goole

Home-Start is a charity that supports families when they need that little bit of extra help. A family can request the support if they have a child under 8. The support can be for anything from financial worries, routines, relationship breakdowns, illness, multiple births, or just because being a parent can be really tough and tiring sometimes!

We have been well-established in Goole for over 26 years and in recent years we are really pleased to have started to cover areas in and around Selby.

We support families with home-visiting volunteers who offer support, friendship and practical help, and we are now recruiting for the next Volunteer Training Course which is running in May. We currently have a lot more families needing support than we have volunteers, if you could spare a few hours a week, you could really make a difference!

For more information about support or volunteering call 01405 769966, text 07534 369783 or email office@hsgoole.org.uk

WEBSITE 

FACEBOOK

Howdenshire and Goole Area Special Families

Welcome to the Facebook community groups for families touched by special educational / health / disability needs. Our aim is to provide information sharing and also support you all.

FACEBOOK

Making difficult conversations easy with PANTS 

nspcc logoMaking difficult conversations easy with PANTS 

As parents we want to do everything we can to help keep our children safe, but at the NSPCC we understand that starting conversations about child sexual abuse with children can seem quite daunting, and it can be difficult to know how to approach such difficult topics.  

The NSPCC has been using the PANTS rule for almost 10 years to help parents have these conversations, in a style that is very age appropriate. 

You know your child better than anyone, and you’ll know when they’re ready and how much detail to go into, but our friendly dinosaur, Pantosaurus, with his singing video and activity packs can help guide your conversations.  

The PANTS rule is really simple: 

Privates are private – your underwear covers up your private parts and no one should ask to see or touch them. Sometimes a doctor, nurse or family member might have to, but they should always explain why and ask you if it’s OK first. 

Always remember your body belongs to you – no one should ever make you do things that make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. If someone asks to see or tries to touch you underneath your underwear, say ‘no’ and tell someone you trust and like to speak to. 

No means no- and you always have the right to say no, even to a family member or someone you love.  

Talk about secrets that upset you. There are good and bad secrets – good secrets can be things like presents for other people or surprise parties. Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened. You should always tell an adult you trust about a bad secret straight away. 

Speak up, someone can help. If you ever feel sad, anxious or frightened, you should talk to an adult you trust.  

A family reading and drawing We also know that sometimes it can be difficult for children to talk to people they know about things that they are worried about, even their parents.  

You can let your child know the Childline number (0800 11 11) and website (childline.org.uk), so if they ever feel unsure they can speak to our counsellors for reassurance and support in the first instance.  

There is also lots of information on the Childline and NSPCC websites for advice and support for whatever is going on in your child’s life.  

 

Relationship Matters

Relationship Matters is a new partnership which offers information, tips and advice on how to overcome tensions, remain calm and where you can go to get further help.

The COVID-19 restrictions have led to big changes in the way people lead their everyday lives, and the new website www.relationshipmatters.org.uk is aimed at people in relationships where things are mostly respectful, equal and cooperative but they are experiencing difficulties.

Relationship Matters aims to help everyone recognise the signs where conflict may be having an impact on families and children

Are you arguing, rowing, or shouting about things like money, how you parent or housework?
Are you worried about splitting up?
Is there sulking, silent treatment, slamming doors or walking away from each other?
Are you anxious or worried, which is getting in the way of managing everyday life?
Are you not able to say sorry after an argument and move on?
Are you using hurtful texts, emails or social media against each other?

SENDIASS North Yorkshire

‘Working together with Parents and carers of children with SEND (0-16) and young people with SEND (16-25). Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities Information, Advice and Support Service.

We are a small team located across North Yorkshire, all professionally qualified and with a significant level of SEND legal training for 0-25 years old. When contacting the SENDIASS advice line by telephone or email a Coordinator will assess and identify with you what is needed, then offer relevant SEND information, advice and support.

T:01609 536923
E: info@sendiassnorthyorks.org

WEBSITE

Solo Mums – York

This is a private closed group for independent professional mums, to come together to socialise, laugh and to support each other.

We organise nights out without our children, and meetups with children. Please only ask to join if you are : female, have a child/children, and independent, ie not with a partner.

FACEBOOK

The Intolerant Gourmand

“It can be so hard as an allergy parent to keep all those plates we have spinning.

We investigate foods to such a level the FBI would be proud of us!

We are constantly on guard, watching everything around us so we can pre-empt any issues!

We prep and pre-make foods for gatherings/ parties/ days out so our little ones never miss out!

Often, this is all whilst holding down a job, doing the housework, being a good partner, and a good mum to our other children, with little time given to ourselves.

It is truly exhausting! Hands up who constantly feels emotionally drained 🙋‍♀️

We are so good at juggling everything, people assume we can take everything in our stride and just deal with whatever life throws at us.

The reality is so different!

For all of you who have cried whilst in the shower so no-one else could see your fears and hear your pain…

For those of you trying to find a solution and wondering if it’ll ever improve…

For those of you who stay up til stupid o clock baking for the school cake sale you found out about at the very last minute and don’t want your child missing out…

For those of you fearful of sending your child to nursery or school because you don’t know if they’ll be on alert and watching like you do…

For those of you who can’t stop the sadness in your child’s eyes as you have to say no because a food isn’t safe…

For those of you who worry about older siblings not getting enough of your time….

For those of you who never seem to catch a break no matter what you try, and wondering if it will ever get better….

I hear you!

Always!

Please, reach out here…. To ask for help, to talk, for a listening ear, for a shoulder to cry on, I ‘get it’!

And I want you to know:

You ARE amazing!

You ARE doing an incredible job!

Your children and family are so LUCKY to have you supporting them!

You ARE enough!

Much love to you all 😘💞

#bekind #mentalhealth #support #allergies “

Extract from the TIG Facebook Page, February 2020

Visit their facebook page for more info and support

The Lullaby Trust

Bereavement support
We offer confidential bereavement support to anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child.

Our bereavement support helpline

If you would like the opportunity to talk freely, for as long as required, with a sympathetic and understanding listener please call our bereavement support helpline on 0808 802 6868 or email support@lullabytrust.org.uk.
Calls to our helpline are free from all landlines and most mobile phone networks. The helpline is open 10am-5pm from Monday to Friday and 6pm-10pm on weekends and public holidays.

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/bereavement-support/

Treasure Chest & Beyond (York)

Treasure Chest volunteer peer supporters can be found at weekly support groups based in Haxby (Mondays), Tang Hall (Tuesdays), Lidgett Grove in Acomb (Wednesdays) and Knavesmire (Thursdays). There is also a breastfeeding counsellor/IBCLC drop in group on a Friday morning in Dringhouses. Exact times and locations of all the groups can be found on our website here: WEBSITE

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